I still remember the day I left Bulgaria. This was the happiest and most exciting moment in my life. Most people would not feel like that when they leave behind everything they know and love – their home, their relatives, and their friends. However, I did not have even a slight hesitation when my parents informed me that we were going to move to another country. I felt like I had always been waiting for this journey to begin.
***
After 18 hours of traveling and after crossing the borders of three different countries, we successfully reached the final destination. This was the moment I had been waiting for so long. I imagined it thousands of times but it did not even slightly resemble my dreams. It was better than everything I expected. It was perfect!
***
It is almost a whole year since the first time we arrived here. In the beginning everything felt so strange and unusual. I felt like an alien – I did not speak the language, I did not know anyone and anything about this country. Nevertheless, gradually I got acquainted with the people and the environment. Now everything is so familiar that sometimes it seems to me I have spent my whole life in this place.
***
It’s summertime. Dad is having a holiday. We are leaving tomorrow, returning to Bulgaria for the first time since we moved. I cannot wait to get there. I want to meet my friends, visit my grandparents, and do everything I used to.
***
We are back from the holiday. I am exhausted by the trip. The journey to Bulgaria was exciting but being home always feels better.
***
I am in my room, packing my baggage. Tomorrow is my flight to Bulgaria. September 15 is in a week and the new school years starts then. I have to return to Bulgaria because I will study at the American College of Sofia.
My classmates (actually my ex-classmates) have already started going to school – here the school year begins on the 1st. I went to visit them but it felt unbearably strange. I was there but I was not part of it anymore; I was only a spectator, a bystander. Besides the pain and unhappiness I felt, there was another feeling burning me from within – jealousy. I envied them for staying here. Why couldn't I stay too? I didn't want to leave. I didn't want to leave everything I loved.
***
It is September 15, 2005. I am standing in a crowd of strangers. It feels as if I don't belong here. I just wish I was in another place. I wish I could go home…
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